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After my last post about the Google Search Engine, and being that this blog is relatively new, I’ve decided to bring the tone down slightly and post something a little less serious…

If Apple did Search Engines:

• The Apple Search Engine wouldn’t be called ‘Apple’ or ‘Search’, but a very witty ‘iSearch”.

 

• Apple wouldn’t use industry standard Search Engine code, but would instead write their own iSearch OSX that would only run on the Safari browser.

 

• Shortly before the release of iSearch, an Apple employee would ‘accidently’ leave a concept iSearch in a bar somewhere in China ready for an unsuspecting Journalist to find and sell stories about.

 

• Steve Jobs would hold international conferences telling the world how Apples own iSearch is far more secure that the likes of Google and Yahoo.



• The day before the iSearch release, hoards of fans would queue for miles outside Apple iSearch Cafe’s in an attempt to get their hands on it first. Of course mass press coverage is a given.

 

• The iSearch would be released shortly before Xmas – just to aid compulsive searches.

 

• Their wouldn’t just be an iSearch, but also an iSearch Touch, and iSearch Nano, and iSearch Classic and or course an iSearch Air.

 

• Websites wouldn’t get crawled by iSearch without first submitting their web code to the Apple team for scrutinus analysis and approval months later.

 

• If users held their mouse incorrectly while doing an iSearch, they’d lose iSearch connection unless they used an iSearch cover.

 


• Users wouldn’t press ‘Search’ to get results, they simply slide the Search icon right.

 

• When presented with iSearch results, users would only be able to use them if they put them through iTunes first.

 

• If users didn’t like the iSearch results they got, they could just shake iSearch to get new ones.

 

• The iSearch results would be displayed as small website icons, approximately 4 to a row, with the option to press on a website and move it around the screen.

 

• Rather than displaying iSearch results in a text formated list, users would flick through results with a left and right swipe.

 

• Days after release, hackers would find a way to root iSearch and run Google for iSearch on it.

 

• Users would join the iSearch Engine only to find 6 months later a slimmer more powerful version is available on upgrade – but only after buying themselves out of their current iSearch contract.

 

• Only after the forth release would users be able to customize the iSearch background.

 

and lastly..

• iSearch wouldn’t display results for flash websites.

 

• iSearch wouldn’t support picture searches, well not initially anyway.

 

What else do you think Apple would do with an iSearch Engine???

(P.S. Written on a Mac!)